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Saturday, November 17th, 2001
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4:01 pm - Life Sucks.......
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So yeah i thought things would be going good for awhile. But no that came to a quick hault after this week, failed my biology test that i studied like crazy for, then it all went downhill from there, and losing the trust of someone that totally shocked me, I just cant believe it, it hurts too much...........will this ever end.....
PLEASE let me find some drugs before this day is over......
current mood:  pissed off
current music: P.O.D. - Alive
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| Thursday, November 8th, 2001
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6:43 pm - Chillin'
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Wow what a productive day I've had, I woke up this morning and decided it was time to clean the apartment. So then I started, the bathroom, laundry, my room, dishes, I even cleaned the OVEN!!! lol.....I know I think Im really losing it!
Im so happy to have all my mid-terms finally over with, and I studied hard for them so I believe I should have done fairly well. I was at University for over 12 hours straight yesterday , needless to say when i got home i just passed out what and exhasuting 8 days.
My parents brought me grocery shopping this afternoon, and tonight we are going shopping so thats a stress reliever in itself! lol Things are really starting to improve for me, im feeling better lately.
Well Im off to get some dinner, Have a good evening everyone!
current mood:  chipper
current music: Kylie Minogue - Can't Get You Out Of My Head
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| Tuesday, November 6th, 2001
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1:09 am - Things Are Looking Up!
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So yeah, after the huge slump that ive been in the past while, I think im finally starting to get out of it now. School is starting to get back on track, im not so depressed, my friends are great, and so is my family. So the way I look at it why dwell on the bad things in life start focusing on the things that make u happy, which will in turn make you happy. LOL This is my new goal!
Yeah the past week or so has been pretty good to me, i feel as though things are starting to come together again. I also met a great guy Andy, we are starting off as friends and see what happens because I really cannot handle any more fucked up relationships I want to get my life back on track again.
Well Im going to do some more studying for my pysch. exam then its in the sac for me.
Goodnight Everyone!
current mood:  optimistic
current music: Toya - I Do
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| Sunday, October 28th, 2001
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7:30 pm - What is wrong with me??
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Its been quite awhile since i posted an entry.....well i dont even know where to begin. The past two weeks must have been the hardest two weeks of my life. Im getting really scared i had bad news this week from the doctor, i have high levels of stress, and really high blood pressure.......the doctor said i may have an anxiety disorder.....my parents are worried about me they say im so distant....and i cant tell them my problems they just wont understand, and i know that it kills them. University is not as appealing as it used to be, i have no desire to go to class anymore. All my money is gone, and all i have from it was being high for 2 weeks straight. Im starting to scare myself, i dont know what is wrong with me........
Jason is trying to make things better between us but he just makes things worst, I wish i could get over him.....its just not that easy....especially when u know they feel the same way about you.
Im not even getting into whats going on in the apartment.....but i really dont know what to do......
i need to get out now.........
current mood:  depressed
current music: Sleeping With The Ghost of You & Me
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| Friday, October 19th, 2001
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2:26 am - What a terrible week.......
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I dont even know where to begin about how bad of a week Ive had. From the fucked up relationship, to roomate troubles, to failing calculus, and running out of money fast! I dont know how to get out of this rutt, I feel as though everything is starting to fall apart all around me. I have no desire, whatsoever to go to class, I don't want to be there......my mind is else where. I am hurting so much inside and I can't get it out. I think a relationship may actually work out but no, obviously not for me, I cant meet anyone normal, they say they are then after a few weeks i realize what kind of a person they really are. It hurts, I have never developed feelings like this in a relationship before, but of course with my luck it doesnt work out. I really dont care what time I wake up tomorrow I may just stay in bed all day, if I have to face another day like today.........well im gone for the night, may have another draw to ease the stress and pain.....
current mood: depressed
current music: Ani Difranco - Untouchable Face
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| Monday, October 15th, 2001
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7:28 pm - We are going on an adventure!!
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Well me and Donna just came up with an amazing idea!!! After the killer day I had we are going to do something fun, and get away from school for one night! I wanted to especially after that crazy calculus test i wrote! BLAH! I hate CALCULUS!!!!!!!!!!
Ok no that ive got that out of my system.......yeah me and Donna are going to walk downtown and go for a 'nature walk' of the city! ;o)
Heheheh well Im excited, we are bringing along a camera and may end up at rez after to visit!!!
Well off we go wish us luck!!!
~Later, Shawn!
current mood:  bouncy
current music: Tegan and Sarah - My Number
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| Thursday, October 11th, 2001
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2:00 am - Never felt like this before...............
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I really don't know how to explain how I've been feeling lately. I've honestly never felt this way about someone before, and I don't know how to show it or explain it to him....yet I'm afraid I may lose him if I don't say something soon.....what to do.....
current mood:  indescribable
current music: Tori Amos and Ani Difranco - Silent All These Years
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| Sunday, October 7th, 2001
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6:38 pm - Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!
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Wow, I really dont know where to start. Man this weekend has been so crazy!! Well to start off i had my Biology test on friday after and it actually went pretty good (at least I hope so)! Then as soon as I got out of my test I went to the Breezeway with Dana and had a triple draft. We ended up getting back to the apartment around 7 and supper was ready, it actually turned out amazing Stef is an awesome cook!! Two thumbs up!! lol So we were having so much fun drinking and playing fuck ups! At which I quickly found out I terribly suck at!! lol Then something happened which totally shocked the life out of me. My friends managed to keep it a surprise from me and Donna all week, our friend Julie who moved to Halifax back in September, decided to move back and then just shows up at the appartment ready to party!! It was crazy!! But I am sooo happy that she is back again!! So then we all went downtown and had a blast I never got home till 5am. But when I came home I freaked because there was a note on our door saying we were going to get a fine the next morning because of the noise that was made when we left the building, and ashes which landed on the neighbours below us verahnda. So I was kinda worried then the next morning our landlord came up and freaked out at us and said if we EVER make any noise whatsoever that we are out on the street!!! So I kinda freaked out and decided to write a letter to him explaining how unfair it was that he never even let us explain our side if the story and we put it in his mailbox. So today while me and Donna were gone to her relatives for Thanksgiving dinner, he came up and appologized to Steph saying that he was just really upset and that he had a lot of other things bothering him at the time. So he said that we have no warnings whatsoever!!!!! I was soooooooo relieved!!!! So it pays to stand up for yourself!! Now I am just really happy and going to enjoy myself tonite. Me and 'J' are going to rent a movie and he is going to come over and watch it!! So we'll have a relaxing evening at home!! Either way I should get some grub, but all in all it has been a crazy weekend just as I expected!!!
-Later!!
current mood: bouncy
current music: none because my winamp is a piece of shit!!!!!!!!
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| Friday, October 5th, 2001
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11:42 am - Its Almost Over!!!!
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I have a little over 3 hours left before I write my last test of the week biology!!! I cant wait to get it all over with!! This week has been nuts Ive been at the library every night this week, not getting home untill 11:30, so I hope it pays off!!! As soon as I get out of my test me and Dana are heading to the Breezeway to have a couple drinks before we head back here, for turkey supper with all my other friends. I'd say that it will definatley be an interesting supper seeing how none of us have made cooked dinner before! lol Oh well I guess we'll find out soon enough! Then we are going to do some more drinking after supper and then head downtown, im not sure where to yet but I want to go to Etomik, b/c I havent been there in awhile. Then I am going to meet up with 'J' and we'll come back here for the night!! Im so excited about tonite it is going to be such a stress reliever after this week. Well I have to go and get in the shower and do some more studying before I head off to university!
-Later!
current mood:  stressed
current music: Ian Van Dahl - Castles In The Sky
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| Thursday, October 4th, 2001
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2:48 am - Soooooooo Tired......
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Have you ever liked someone so much that everytime you think of them, of speak to them that it just gives you an overwhelming feeling of happiness? Well I think I may be getting pretty close to that........but yet I still dont want to blow it out of proportion, but its too hard to try and not think about it. I havent been this happy in ages, it is really what I needed. Whew now that I have that off my chest! lol Im soo tired this week is crazy so many assignments and tests its nuts! I wrote my Psych. test tonight and I think I did fairly well, now I have to wake up tomorrow and finish my calculus assignment and start studying for bio. I cant wait till friday to get all this over with for at least a couple of days and celebrate Thanksgiving with my friends. We are having a bunch of close friends come over on friday for thanksgiving supper, then we are hitting the alcohol and heading downtown!! I cant wait I think it will be well deserved after this week! Either way I have to get to bed another early rise tomorrow!! It will soon be over!!!!! :o)
current mood:  tired
current music: Maren Ord - All I Want
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| Tuesday, October 2nd, 2001
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12:56 pm - Studying!! lol
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Well I decided to stay home today and study for my psych. test which is tomorrow, and then bio. on friday. I need to do very well on these tests. Things have been amazing lately, im so happy all the time! I had a great weekend even though i didnt go downtown, i was such a mess on friday evening at the breezeway that me and donna had to leave at 7:30, it was sad!! lol Then me and 'J' went to a movie on sunday night, and he stayed over, it was great, he makes me sooooo happy! He is amazing! :o) We are talking all the time things are going very well and i hope it continues that way! My brother arrived in the Netherlands fine, which is a relief, he is just getting settled away now. But every thing is going great for now! Oh shit I have to go i have chinese food left in the oven!! lol
~Later!
current mood: peaceful
current music: Tori Amos - Raspberry Swirl
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| Friday, September 28th, 2001
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11:27 am - Im so Happy!!!
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Oh my the past week has been crazy!!! Actually since last weekend! Well to start off, I got my eyebrow pierced on last saturady, and I love it!! Then that night my friends Sean and John gave me a call to go downtown, so I was like what the hell i havent been down in awhile so I went. I was a complete mess that night though,i was what we should say a little intoxicated! lol Anyways we headed down and we drank some more and danced I was having a blast!! But what made the night the best was that I met an amazing guy. He seems so great, and we have been talking all week, so it looks like things are going very well between us!! Yah new realtionship!! To make it better is that is he absolutly gorgeous!! I cannot believe how hot he is and he actually has a personality to go along with it!! Yah!! Either way that makes me soo happy and we were on the phone last night till 3:30am, it was great! :o) Today after classes Im heading to the breezeway, with the regular group! lol As usual that is what we do every friday evening!! Yahoo! $2.90 for triple draft!! lol I'm having such a great time lately I havent been this happy in a long time! My brother is leaving sunday for the Netherlands!! I cant believe that I will miss him a lot, but he will be fine I know my bro. Well I have to go and hop in the shower before i head off to classes!! Later!!!! :O)
current mood: excited
current music: Nelly Furtado - Turn Off the Light (Timbaland Remix)
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| Tuesday, September 18th, 2001
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9:00 am - Its Been Awhile!
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Wow I cant believe its been so long since i made an entry! Well lets see what has happened in that amount of time...ummm i moved im back here in st johns going to school, in my new apartment with roomates that i think the world of!! Im back at the books which sucks but oh well i know i will do alot better this semester. Last week was crazy the Air crashes in the states was very scary and turned the world upside down nothing will be the same ever again. I think this is just the beginning. I miss alot of my friends from home like my Becky, and Heidi. But its good to be back again, i had a fun summer despite the imaturaty of people that i thought were my friends, but that doesnt bother me because i highly doubt i will see them for a nice while and their opinion really doesnt matter to me!! I love me friends here its good to see them all again, im finally getting back into the swing of things, our apartment is amazing and very big!! Plus I love my room its away in a cozy corner so i can escape to my own world when ever i feel like it! I thought i would be ready for a relationship when i came out but them quickly realized that i should take school as my number one priority, and if a relationship happens it happens!! But oh well i have to go and do some Bio. fun stuff!!! lol Later!!
current mood: content
current music: Enya- Only Time
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| Sunday, August 19th, 2001
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5:00 pm - Time is Ticking....
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I cannot believe that im leaving for school in 1 week today!!! I cant fucking wait! Donna left today we had a good week together besides me having to work till wednesday but thats fine because im finished now!!! YAH!!! FREEDOM!!! Its been pretty relaxing the past couple of days, but i think this week will be pretty hectic, considering how much shit i have to get ready before i go back to school. Things arent going all that well with my parents latley. My mother found a pack of cigarettes in my pocket while washing my clothes, which broke her heart and made her cry, which in turn made me cry. I love my mother and i never want to hurt her....then i tolf them i couldnt drive home that night because i was going drinking. So needless to say they werent to impressed with that either. My brother is coming back today also, so he will be here for my last week which is good because i get to see him before he moves to the Netherlands. Man so much has happened in my life lately its crazy. But lately ive been noticing even more than usual how lonely i have been this summer, i want a relationship i want to be in love.....oh well hopefully when i go back to school i'll find another love seeking student like me! LOL Its ok to wish! LOL Well im supposed to be hanging out with becky tonite that should be fun i miss her a lot! Well i should go and take a nap now....im feeling kinda lazy..
Later!
current mood:  ditzy
current music: Missy Elliot - Lick Shots
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| Monday, August 6th, 2001
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2:15 am - Dropping Tired.....
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Oh god i am so tired right now i am about to fall asleep. I had a crazy day at work today and i cant wait to get out of that fucking hole!! Only a week and a half and its all over yay! God it was so busy and frustrating today that I felt like walking right out of there! The only thing that made me stay there is because i didnt want to leave my friend by herself in all that torture. At least I have tomorrow off so thats good for a change. I had a really cool weekend this weekend i am glad that me and a good friend are hanging out alot again, i love her so much I will miss her soooo much when i go back to school. I had a hard week last week, i found out that i have even more health problems besides my allergies, so that kinda put a downer on me but i hope it will be fine. Well my spirits have been up lately i think it is because im getting closer to going back to school again only a couple more weeks thank god!! Either way i should go now and enjoy the mood im in right now..
current mood: calm
current music: stutter
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2:07 am - Dropping Tired.....
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Oh god i am so tired right now i am about to fall asleep. I had a crazy day at work today and i cant wait to get out of that fucking hole!! Only a week and a half and its all over yay! God it was so busy and frustrating today that I felt like walking right out of there! The only thing that made me stay there is because i didnt want to leave my friend by herself in all that torture. At least I have tomorrow off so thats good for a change. I had a really cool weekend this weekend i am glad that me and a good friend are hanging out alot again, i love her so much I will miss her soooo much when i go back to school. I had a hard week last week, i found out that i have even more health problems besides my allergies, so that kinda put a downer on me but i hope it will be fine. Well my spirits have been up lately i think it is because im getting closer to going back to school again only a couple more weeks thank god!! Either way i should go now and enjoy the mood im in right now..
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| Wednesday, July 25th, 2001
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5:08 pm
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Wow I cant believe that it is like 4:30 already I havent even did anything the whole day besides lazing around watching muchmusic. It is good for a change though I guess, to have a day off and spend it around the house vegging. I had a very frustrating night last night my parents are starting to really bugging me lately and they seem so disinterested with my life and what I do, they know nothing about me, and they pretend as though they do. Then there is my sister who kisses my parents ass like crazy and pretends to me that they bug her also. All I know is that I cannot wait to go back to school, this town sucks, and lately it seems as though just about everyone in it sucks also. They are all so fake and 2-faced, i miss my friends from school and i cant wait to see them all again. Not much longer thank god. The one highlight of m whole week so far was last night when me and a close friend lay down on a grassy yard and just stared into the sky discussing our lives and the future while we watched bolts of lightnening shoot through the sky, it was so amazing and mind easing. We stayed there till the heavy rain began which ended up being like an hour. I thought it was amazing and it helped me get alot of problems off my chest, and hopefully they got their problems off their chest too. My weekend is totally mixed up now, i actually managed to get it off so i could go out of town and visit some friends but now i cant go because of somebody's mixed up circumstances that i wasnt informed of till after the fact of me getting the time off work. It is actually quite upsetting seeing how me and a friend have been planning this since ive been in university. Oh well thats life i guess I always get stuck with the rotten end of the deal because of "oh he is Mr. Nice Guy, he wont care he is always happy", this is really starting to piss me off, just because im a nice guy and dont say anything mean to anyone does not mean that it is perfectly ok to walk over me all the time. I have feelings too. Well it looks like we may have another thunder storm, good now it will match my mood......
current mood: frustrated
current music: sound of a lawn mower and a plane flying overhead.....
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| Tuesday, July 24th, 2001
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2:36 pm - Off to Work!!
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Well I cant believe that it is the 24th of july already!! This summer is flying by and with the passing of this time many changes accompanied them. Many of which I would love to forget but cant oh well. Yesterday was pretty interesting it was one of my best friends 19th birthday and we went out to supper with some friends........well I wouldnt stretch it as far to say that they were my friends because out of how many were there, there was only like three that i would consider my friends, and that was including the birthday girl...lol. So needless to say I found it very awkward there and was quite uncomfortable, but I went anyways because it was for one of my bestfriends so i wanted her to be happy. Either way, lately I dont know if its just me or what but a lot of people are starting to bug me and I cant wait to go back to school, to get away from it all, or at least try to. Well what a life i must have..lol....I get to go to another fun-filled day of work yah!!!...... Oh well,what an amazing summer....
current mood: aggravated
current music: Purple Pills D12
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2:23 pm
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| Wednesday, June 27th, 2001
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2:10 am - Very Tired
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Hey this is my first entry it will be very short because im off to bed. But I had good day, besides it being freezing cold and all, I had a relaxing nite with my family, my brother is home for awhile so it is good to see him again. Just finished talking with a friend awhile ago, without my friends i dont know where i would be today, thanks for everything guys and have a nice nite!
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